Bedtime stories from the hidden empire
by Sonny Oliver
Summary: Three pandaren on a rite of passage discover danger at every turn.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Kegger

"It's not like you are invisible, they just can't see you. Or better yet, something in their brain tells them to ignore you" said Lucas who was doing a one handed handstand next to the goblin who was standing guard in front of the shark mouth. The shark mouth was massive, possibly a giant shark caught off in the bay. The goblins had mounted the head as a gateway to the port city of Booty Bay.

"Obviously they can't hear us" replied Chojun who was waving his hand in front of one of the goblin guards. "What does this again?"

"Are you sure you are pandaren?"

Chojun answered by executing a perfect spinning jump kick over the head of the goblin guard.

"Sweet breeze, thank the makers for that wind" said the guard.

Chojun laughed

"He won't be thanking the makers after this" he said bending over and aiming his backside towards the goblin guard.

"Knock it off Chojun; we are not here for that" said Lucas making his way into the shark mouth. "We have to finish this kegger and then get back to home base."

The_ kegger_ was a rite of passage all young pandarens went through in order to achieve manhood. The crawl of brew masters in their tribe, would instruct teams of young pandarens to travel to each of the major cities in Azeroth and perform a kegger ritual which took a day. Afterwards, the keg in which the ritual was performed on would turn invisible and continue to radiate the rituals power. The kegs were very important because the power they emanated allowed pandarens to walk around Azeroth undetected.

"What is the first rule of the crawl" asked Lucas.

"We do not exist" replied Chojun in a bland tone.

"We do not exist because?"

"We do not exist because darkness is watching. Darkness is forever vigilant and will take your mother's name" Chojun said, finishing the litany of Xian. The litany of Xian Redspear was created by the last pandaren emperor to sit on the ebon throne. The house of Redspear had ruled the Pandaren Empire for over a hundred years. And each heir to the throne was given the legendary spear of chaos, said to be made from the tooth of a great demon. Chojun never really believed the story that the ebon throne was made by the blood of demons, however, he had seen the spear of chaos on more than one occasion, and the tip did look something like a demon tooth.

The sights and sounds of Booty Bay greeted their senses as they exited the tail end of the gate shark. Everything was so colorful, from the imported silks which came from outland to the fast moving hawkstriders and their multi-colored feathers. Spice from Tanaris and glowing gems from Ungoro crater mixed in with creatures from all race and class. The colorful clothing and rich dialects of the different people around him had Chojun's head spinning with delight.

"Do you really believe that, I mean the part about darkness taking your mother's name" asked Chojun who was parting traffic on an unconscious level. Chojun always wondered what they saw when he did this. If he stood in someone's way, something in that person's mind made them step aside, he knew that it was the conditioning of the kegger, but it always fascinated him. As a child he would sometimes imagine that he was a giant piece of kodo pooh, and that's why people walked around him.

"Get out of there and meet me on the roof of that building" warned Lucas who was already moving deftly across the tiled rooftops and disappearing into the distance.

Chojun thought about the part in the litany, regarding darkness taking his mother's name, as he made his way to the roof that Lucas was already waiting at. That portion of the litany was based on the legend of Shadim Goldpurse. Shadim was a wealthy merchant who travelled the world selling his wares. Then one day Shadim came across a demon who tricked him out of everything he owned. Shadim was ruined and was desperate; he asked demon if there was anything he could do to get his precious things back.

"Give me your mother's name" the demon replied.

Shadim thinking nothing of it gave the demon his mother's name and the demon returned everything he had taken from the pandaren merchant. That night Shadim woke to a terrifying sight. He was naked and chained with some kind of magical black shackles.

"What is the meaning of this" he shouted to the demon.

"You have given me your mother's name, which is the portal to your creation in this world. You are now my slave as long as I live" Laughed the demon.

The story was told to every pandaren growing up as a cautionary tale to never trust a demon and to always eat their vegetables. Chojun laughed as he passed a glowing imp on the streets below. _It still didn't make me eat my vegetables_ Chojun thought to himself smiling as he spun up the flag pole unto the roof where Lucas was impatiently waiting.

"Are you done fooling around" sighed Lucas?

"I'm just saying, we should wait for Suki before we try this. She's the best at rituals" he said, getting into position next to the keg that Lucas was setting up.

"She is doing recon work for our next keg. And for your information, she is not the best at rituals, I am, that's why I'm doing this" Lucas said while drawing the ritual glyphs on the keg. "Truth be told, Suki is just faster at it then I am, but I am more precise" he finished. "There, ready to go. Now give me your hand."

"Afterwards we have to get some drinks, the humidity in this vale is not doing wonders for my fur" said Chojun offering his hand.

"Naturally, I told Suki to meet us at that tavern in an hour."

Chojun looked down at the city, the sunset bathing everything in a warm orange. Lights could be seen flickering on in every window of the bay. He spied the tavern Lucas was talking about; already a group of sailors and pirates were getting drunk off the cold amber beer. Most drinks were room temperature but some tavern keeps liked to cast a magic spell on the keg to keep it cold all day. He could imagine the cold liquid going down his throat quenching the new parch sensation that was rapidly growing within him. An hour suddenly seemed like a lifetime.

"I don't know if I'm going to make it. Maybe we should go down there and test it out, you know, to see if it's any good. I've had bad beer before and believe me you don't want any of that, if it's bad we can try out other places, sample…

"Enough! I'm already into the ritual, just concentrate and we'll be done and drinking all the beer you want" exclaimed Lucas, closing his eyes again to return to the ritual.

"Okay, one more question and I'll shut up" Chojun said with a strange tone in his voice. "Why are those guys looking at us" he said pointing at five men dressed in black wearing what looked like helmets that resembled raven heads.

Lucas, exasperated, stopped the ritual and turned to look at the five men in black who were on the roof opposite to them.

"Idiot, they can't see us! Now I have to start all over again" he said, turning back to the keg.

"No really dude, they can totally see us" replied Chojun watching the men produce things that appeared to be flintlock pistols from their cloaks. "And now we are going to die, get down!" he said pushing Lucas onto the roof tile while a hail of gunfire flew past them, one shot striking the barrel and releasing a strand of glowing pink liquid.

"No!" cried Lucas watching the pink substance fountain from the side of the keg. "I have to get this to safety" covering the hole with one paw Lucas made an acrobatic leap down into the city streets. Panic washed across the faces of the people surrounding Lucas as pushed passed them on the street using anything and everything to propel him to a safe location where he could hide the keg. People ran from the strange floating barrel which appeared to be moving by itself through the streets of Booty Bay. The guards had been alerted and were on their way.

Dropping behind a silk vendor, Lucas covered the bullet hole with a gold piece he pilfered from the merchant and then wrapped the gold piece with some silk in a tight knot. Reciting a spell on the keg, Lucas watched as the keg began to disappear.

That should do it for now, he thought to himself. Turning back to the street, Lucas tumbled and then spun through the air landing on a nearby rooftop. More gunshots could be heard in the distance.

"Hold on man, I'm coming" and he was off bounding rooftops like a large black and white cat.

The distance closed and he could see Chojun leading the shooters on a chase across the rooftops of the city. Lucas knew what Chojun was doing and readied himself to close the trap. Just a few more meters and he would be at the city wall, at which point Chojun would jump into the thick jungle of the vale. That never happened.

As the five shooters approached the wall they were greeted by a rain of steel. Shuriken flew out of the tall jungle trees striking two of the shooters. The first man on the left received a direct hit to his face, ripping away the raven mask to reveal human flesh and bone being torn to shreds. Screams and blood sent him over the wall to crash into the dense jungle brush below.

That man next to him dropped to his knees clutching his stomach, a small river of blood began to drench his pants, which resulted in his collapse on the tile roof.

Seeing the fate of their comrades, the remaining three opened fire on the dark jungle where the deadly shuriken were coming from.

Nothing but smoke, darkness and silence surrounded the three crow men. In the distance the sounds of the city guard grew near. Using the smoke and darkness to their advantage the three men made their escape.

Lucas moved into the area cautiously. Concentrating on his chi and letting loose his breath, Lucas sent out a ping, an invisible psychic shockwave, originating from his body to bath the area in his personal energy. Using the wave, Lucas surveyed the area to make sure it was clear of enemies. He smiled as he detected a familiar energy signature nearby.

"Good work Suki" he said as a female pandaren dropped in from the shadows. Unlike the male pandaren who resembled bears, Sukari look more like a bipedal fox with a long bushy tail. She also chose to dress in leathers. It was more durable in a fight, she often said. Within her outfit were hidden bandoliers for shuriken and daggers.

"You two looked like you needed the help" she replied, retrieving her shuriken off the bodies of the dead shooters. "Who were these guys?"

"A better question is how can they see us?"

"We should've… had a… beer first" said a winded Chojun climbing the wall." Remember Chen's seventh rule of survival: Drink first, fight later, drink last, and die dry."

"I never liked that saying" replied Suki. "Unlike the rest of the empire, I prefer my drinks like I prefer my men: Warm and non-alcoholic."

Both Lucas and Chojun smiled at Suki's comment.

"But back to my question. How did those men see us?"

The area was filling with city guards, goblin bruisers armed with clubs and whirling shields, all of which were oblivious to the three pandarens talking next to them.

One of the goblins removed the crow helmet off the dead shooter on the roof. It revealed a human, a young human in his teens. The goblins continued their investigation taking photo renderings using their goblin technology. Chojun was fascinated with goblin tech. There was one time he stepped into a machine he thought was a goblin transporter only to be turned into a gnome for the day. It was a great day as he recalled.

"Hey get away from there" said Lucas as he noticed Chojun posing in a picture next to one of the dead shooters.

"What's your deal, I'm not going to show up in the picture anyway" he said posing in yet another crime scene photo.

"That's not the point, it's disrespectful"

Chojun stopped in his tracks and looked down at the body.

"Right" said Chojun realizing that the shooter, regardless of his misdeeds had a mother and her name was in judgment right now.

"May Chindra judge her name and the path between you and your mother be clear for all eternity" Said Suki, reciting the prayer of cleansing over the body of the shooter. The prayer was a means to cleanse the body of the possessed or those who did wrong to others. It was a supplication to the Great Spirit Chindra to allow the newly cleansed spirit of the dead to move on from this life to the laughing shores.

"Yes and again we say yes" replied the three pandarens reverently and in unison, ending the prayer.

There was a moment of silence, each of the pandarens taking a second to reflect on what just happened. Chojun remembered the first time he heard the prayer of cleansing was as a child after a hunt. The deer had fallen to his spear and Chojun and his father, Lord Calbain Darkbrew, knelt beside the body while his father recited the prayer and instructed his son in what to say and when to say it.

"Remember my son, all things in life, whether good or evil, deserve a proper passing to the laughing shores. No one does it alone. I hope you shall do this for me one day."

Yes father I have, save me a seat next to the keg, he thought to himself.

"Okay, so now that were done mourning for our enemies, maybe we can get a drink. Some hot tea sounds great about now" said Suki looking down at the city and its merriments.

"I'm with Suki, we can talk about this somewhere were beer is involved" Added Chojun.

"Yes…" said Lucas.

"…and again we say yes" chimed in the other two laughing.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Recon

The tavern was crowded leaving the pandaren trio to sit on its roof. The southern sky was filled with stars, some of which were falling into the southern sea illuminating the giant goblin statue in the bay. The pandarens sat lazily enjoying their drinks to the backdrop of sailor music and laughter below.

"I know that song! I'm going to join in" Chojun said, rolling to the edge of the roof.

"Wait! We have to talk about what happened. It's not every day someone can just see a pandaren" said Lucas taking another sip of his wine.

Chojun stopped his roll into a handstand and then returned to his original spot realizing he left his mug of beer behind.

"There was that one guy, Tanaris Bob? He could see Pandaren" said Chojun, resuming his journey to the singing, this time with mug in hand.

"If that was Tanaris Bob, we would be dead right now Brew boy" it was Suki's nick name for Chojun and he didn't like it. It wasn't because his house name was Darkbrew; it was more aimed at Chojun's relationship with all things alcoholic. He really loved to drink, but most of all he loved to create his own drinks. Where the traditional brewmasters of the tribe began, Chojun took it to a whole new level of drink creation. Suki recalled a time when Chojun created a drink that was supposed to give the drinker the ability to fly, but instead gave Chojun a cute pair of pink wings. The wings didn't go away for a whole week. He saved the concoction and named is Pink Cow. Chojun always saved his drink recipes, hoping someday that a really could one would be created.

"Will you stop calling me that?"

"Okay, pink cow" she said laughing.

"Will you two stop, we need to get down to business" Lucas said, finishing his drink with a burp.

"Sweet" replied Chojun and Suki. It was customary for pandarens to express their gratitude if a pandaren burps. Burping was a sign of respect; it told the brewmaster that he had created a good brew.

"I'm thinking it has something to do with those crow/raven masks they were wearing. Maybe some kind of magic item that allows them to see us" said Lucas pouring himself another glass of wine. He had taken the bottle from the tavern but left a few gold pieces behind as payment. That is how it always was with the pandaren, take, but remember to leave something behind of equal or greater value.

"Hey, what was that pink stuff coming out of the keg" asked Chojun?

"Must be something to do with the magic which conceals us all" replied Lucas. "I don't question the wisdom of the crawl, and neither should you."

"Wisdom or no wisdom, Lucas is right, people being able to see us is a big deal and we should report it right away" Suki said, breathing in the warmth of her tea. She too had taken a pot from the tavern. Chojun on the other hand would just jump down into the tavern and refill his mug whenever he wanted. He promised Lucas he would pay for whatever he took at the end of the night. Lucas knew the reality of it and was resolved to the fact that he would end up paying for Chojun's drinks by the end of the night.

"Okay, so it's agreed. We send a bird back to the tribe reporting our encounter today, but until we get word back I think we should investigate further these crow people and how they can see us and why they were shooting at us" finished Lucas.

"Yes and again we say yes" all three said, Chojun's yes sounding a little inebriated.

The rest of the night winded down with Chojun joining a group of sailors in their after midnight singing party. The kegger gave the illusion that Chojun was whatever they saw him to be. Some saw a gnome, while others a drunken tauren. This illusionary effect only happened when deliberate interaction would come into play. Fun was had by all except for Lucas who ended up carrying Chojun back to base camp with a trail of vomit down his back, courtesy of Chojun.

That morning Chojun woke to the smell of eggs and bacon. He crawled out of the magical bamboo tent to see the delicious breakfast being cooked by Lucas. Off in the distance, Chojun could see, through sleep laden eyes, Suki performing her morning kata. He had to admit that she was really good. Out of the three of them, Suki was by far the fastest when it came to combat. That's probably why she came from the quickblade clan. Everyone from that clan was very fast. It was said that the founder of the quickblade clan was given the gift of unnatural speed from the lightning spirit Krekle, and that all of his ancestors were very fast due to the gift. All the clans of the Pandaren Empire share similar stories of gifts being given by great spirits. Chojun's own clan, Darkbrew is said to have received a gift from a river spirit, giving his clan the ability to heal their wounds quickly. Lucas' clan of Soulgate was given a gift from a blood spirit, which allowed his clan to see the chi gates within a person's body and manipulate that body by opening and closing key gates within the chi flow.

"Breakfast is ready. Suki, I just sent the bird, can you follow it and make sure it makes it past the shore?" and like a blur, Suki disappeared. "I gave it new coordinates for our new base" Lucas said dishing out the eggs and bacon. He also cooked some pancakes for Suki who didn't eat any meat.

Chojun dove into the meal and then realized something.

"Were moving! Again?"

"We have to. We can't stay here, especially after what happened last night with the crow people. Chen's twenty-fifth rule of survival: You can't hit what's not there" Lucas said, pouring the last of the eggs unto Suki's plate.

After a few minutes Suki returned to find her breakfast being eyed by Chojun.

"Don't even think about it brew boy" she said dashing Chojun's hopes and dreams of a scrambled egg reunion inside his stomach. "I scouted the parameter and we look pretty safe, however, there are a couple of night-elf hunters that will skirt our camp within a few hundred yards to the west, they have cats, we should be okay" she said, finishing her breakfast. Lucas handed her a cup of hot tea and continued to break camp.

"Why can't we just leave the tents here, no one but a pandaren can see them anyway" asked Chojun, slowly helping Lucas break camp.

"Everything" Lucas said. "We have five more minutes and then were heading to our new base camp."

At that, Chojun slumped his shoulders and kicked the dirt. After a few seconds of pouting he resumed breaking camp with Lucas.

"Suki, I want you to stay here and do some recon on the goblins investigating the attack. They might have some new information. Get what you can and meet us at the new base camp in three hours."

"On it" and with that she disappeared.

"That still amazes me that she can do that" said Chojun gathering the tents folding them down so he could put them in his backpack. The tents were a magical gift from the tribe. All initiates of the kegger were given certain magic items to help them. The tents could be folded into paw sized cubes and then released into tents when needed. Their magical nature made the tents invisible to all but other pandarens.

"Her family is fast, that's all" replied Lucas who was putting the finishing touches. "There, now it's like we were never here."

When all was said and done the two pandarens set off into the jungle of the stranglethorn vale.

"Once we get this camp set up we'll take the intelligence that Suki has and reformulate a new plan in redoing the kegger ritual. It still has to be done" said Lucas.

An hour later the pair of pandarens was approaching another of the many rope bridges that connected the paths of the vale when suddenly, something came flying out of the brush.

"Help me!" it was a gnome with a spear sticking through his side. Behind him was a murloc gaining ground. The murloc was armed with another spear and was ready to throw.

"I got this" Chojun said, readying his katana with his thumb. This was the starting position in what was known as the blinding wind technique.

Running past the gnome, Chojun committed himself to malice intent. This broke the oath with the kegger allowing anyone to see him. The sudden appearance of a sword wielding pandaren took the murloc by surprise, compelling the murloc to throw his spear at Chojun instead. Chojun reacted by deflecting the spear in mid-flight with his blade and then spinning and severing the murloc's arm. Blood sailed through the air, splashing against a rubber tree behind the murloc. The murloc slowed his pursuit, took a few more steps and then dropped to the ground, his large eyes going dark amid a pool of blood growing around him.

Continuing his combat stance, Chojun and Lucas stood back to back watching their environment for further enemies. When all was clear they both recited the prayer of cleansing over the murloc and then began to search for the gnome with a spear sticking out of him.

Calming his chi flow, Chojun regained his peace with the kegger and once again turned invisible to the rest of the world.

"You know, if you think about it, we could totally take over the world with this kegger thing. Just Imagine it, an army of pandaren could walk into a city and take it over just like that" Chojun said scouting the brush for the pierced gnome.

"That's not how it works and you know it. When establishing the first keggers, the crawl implemented fail safes for that very thing. The malice trigger is just one of many."

Chojun laughed "You got to admit though, coming from such a violent empire, we as a people, have turned into a bunch of peace loving, tree hugging, hell-tree eating, nomads."

"That was the price we paid for having our mother's name stolen by demons. The empire was getting fat and complacent. It was just a matter of time that it would fall. All great civilizations fall" Lucas said, poking through the brush for a half dead gnome. "I thought _we_ were hard to find. Where is this guy?"


End file.
